*_^ 4EVERBESTFRIENZ >_”

Hmm .. wat did i do today ar? oops suddenli forgot … erm ..OH! i went to the skul to get training on EXCEL??? haha .. actuali i have known all alreadi lar. But no harm to learn again. THere are still something tat I dunno lar. Haha .. i learned Excel at my very young age. Hee … learned all Mircrosoft liao ..

Then we had lunch tgt at Prince. Ok lar. We juz ate our lunch and had chat lor. Nothing special. Then i rushed for my pw meeting which supposedly started at 12pm lar. We edited our powerpoint and had a discussion on how to answer some questions tat were raised during our presentation. Then i rushed for Chi Soc outing at Lido. Watched movie of coz!duh! We all watched DeathNote! Damn nice movie! The plot is good! I find something alike between Conan the movies and DeathNote. Looking forward to watch DeathNote2!!!

<refer to my photo album "Photo related to entries" for photos!>

Sorry to make jt wait so long outside the cinema,k?! i did mean to be late. I think u missed the beginning part of the show …wat a waste. Thkx ya. I think they tried to bully you and asked u to wait for me. I guessed so … Haha, then we went to have dinner wif some other Chi Soc friends as well. Got Ming Ming, Rui Xiong, YunSOng, Lee Heng … not bad lar though not lots of people were staying for dinner. We kept talking about North South East West .. we even touched on India .. lolz … Dunno if jt felt bored in our discussion or not. The boys kept talking about Chinese High stuff. I tried to engage her so tat she din felt alienated. Haha … i hope wat i did worked??!! Then, i was here! Back to boarding. Jt’s dad sent us home. Yup tat s all. Tmr got pw presentation. I will keep practising so tat i can speak fluently. Nice day!

Hmm .. actuali i should be using the blog tat i created (a blog which i intend to share wif sbody). But nvm. Somehow this makes me to reflect. i have got loz of questions to ask. But i better keep them in my hearts rather than asking all the questions. I m the type of person who likes to be hurt "silently". Haha .. better than two people 受伤 at the same time rite?! And more often when i 受挫，i can recover very fast de. (am i?! hmm .. not reali .. depends) I think i know ther 意思 ler. Alrite ….

Oh .. i would like to express my gratitude to those who have bought our KDF coupons. I know tat it is not easy for them to 掏腰包 coz i think they have developed a phobia towards donation ler … Haha. Indeed there are loz of donation drives goin on at the same time. No wonder they are scared of donating now. Duh. Because of this phenomenon, we met difficulty in selling all our coupons! Anw, thk you. Your contribution and support is much appreciated. I dun mind tat i m exhausted after the door-to-door selling. If wat i do can help those who are suffering and facing greater pain than me, i m willing to do it. If u take a close look, i hav an exhausted face. Haha … my eyes are red. My lips are quite dry. I cant reali use my legs anymore .. haha .. not tat i 残废 lar. I better use my legs not tat often. Last time, i played tennis wif a person. Aiya .. willing to do coz playing wif special person mah … haha. But then i find tat my stamina is not good liao. I rested myself too many times in the court. Haiz … but still i 撑 till the end hor … haha .. not bad lar …^_^

Hamlet, a hamster that was given by a friend of mine, was found dead at 1.30am on 28th October 2006. How do I know the exact time? Because I was the onli one who accompanied it till its last breathe. Hamlet was the first hamster tat was reared under my friend. I bet she loved it very much with the fact that she had been waiting for Hamlet’s return when she got to return it to its original owner [the owner kept Hamlet in her house when the owner was away for about several weeks]. I m indeed very very sorry tat it was dead. Sorry ………………Now that she gave Hamlet to me and I m the owner of Hamlet.

Actuali I have already found out that Hamlet had been behaving very weird these few days. Its appetite was not very good [compared to HamHam that has been a lot]. I have to keep supplying food to HamHam as it finishes the food very fast. But it was totally different situation for Hamlet. The food seemed like left untouched. Hamlet remained extremely dormant. Very inactive indeed. Whenever it took a few steps, it would lie down to “rest”. I have been worrying about it actuali. After second thought, I juz perceived that it was just slacking around. I didn’t reali think that its doom day was coming.

Hamlet was nice and obedient. This could be seen from the way it behaved when I gave it a bath. It did not struggle as much as HamHam. It allowed me to wash over its body using soup. A good boy I must say. I have been taking care of it quite well. Whenever I came home, I would feed it by myself. I was too afraid tat it had not been taking enuf food. I even moved the water bottle near to its mouth so that it drank water consistently everyday. I also played with it so that it did not feel bored in its own cage. I could see that it enjoyed outside world very much. It ran a lot outside compared than in its cage. Reali enjoyed the time spent wif it.

At this time (12.00am), I found it even weirder than other days. It kept pampering itself for no reason. I guess it wanted to die in a nice way … I could sense that it was going to die soon … I juz felt like tat … I dunno why … I told my roommate about this. He could not believe wat I said. I kept watching over Hamlet for the whole night. I wished to keep it accompany till the end. I allowed it to play outside its cage for the last time. I could see tat it enjoyed itself very much again. Then I held it in my palm throughout the night chatting wif it and had some interaction wif it. Juz felt tat something was not right. Juz felt tat tonight would be our last night playing tgt. I had been trying to get rid of these negative thought thinking tat Hamlet was juz tired and would be alrite…..

Suddenli Hamlet behaved very weird in the way that one of its legs kept shivering. Oh no …. After a few minutes, it stopped moving …. I was trying to wake it up but my effort was in vain …. I was stunned there …. Watching at it ….I never stopped waking it up till a point I asked my friend to verify for me that it was dead. My eyes turned red and were suddenly flushed with tears. I have been taking good care of it! Why did it die?! I baffled! I dun understand! I messaged jt last nite [very late already and dun expect to have reply from her] to ask about its age and the life span of a hamster… I wan to find out that if I m the cause of its death! I am not a good pet owner. I fail to be one. I sux. I kept blaming myself while I was holding its dead body in my palm. It was not moving after all after whateva method I tried. I prayed that it could revive. No, it din wake up eventually. L sad … indeed very sad. Heart broken …. I onli stayed wif it for about 2 weeks. I onli started enjoying playing wif it. I wanna to have a wonderful time wif it! But it had gone … I m thinking of not rearing any pet anymore. Pets that I took care be4 were dead in some ways. I think they died all because of me. L “Fa Luo Han” fishes died because they fought each other…. My little turtles die for no reason … my hamster Hamlet died this time …I m not a good pet owner. I have been thinking that I take care of my pets very well. But the fact is not. If not, how could they have died?! Rite?! I dun think I wan to accept the two new- born little hamsters from jt liao. I am too scared to c any pets under my charge die again … no matter how much care tat I put it, the result that I get is not desirable.

Some may think tat wat is the big deal if a hamster has died {they are not human anw}? I think those who asked this question do not how cute is Hamlet! It also got its own life! Like us! Of coz when Hamlet died, I would feel damn sad coz I luv it! It is like my own child tat I took great care of it. Believe it or not, I had been taking care of it like my own child [though I dunno wat is the real taste to take care of a child].

Hamlet, forgive me if I have not done my job as ur pet owner….

Saturday, 21.10.2006 – I woke up earli in the morning completing my powerpoint coz I had a feeling that I would not have time to complete it :p On Sunday, I still got my SL project selling our KDF tix door-by-door lei! Haiz … very enjoyable indeed. Shall talk more about it later. My powerpoint was almost done be4 10.00am. Then I prepared myself for an outing wif my friend. When she told me tat she was in Almore (a place where I dunno >_<), I had been searching around. Thkx goodness tat I discovered it fast which was near a MRT station. Then I waited there for about 30 min. Haha … 傻傻地等.. she kept telling me tat she was in the KFC which is near the MRT?!! Tat time I was indeed waiting at the KFC! Then I found that something was not rite!!! In the end, I realized tat there is also one KFC near the other MRT station. Gosh … haha .. both of us waiting for each other. So cant blame anyone. Em .. nope. .. blame me … lolz … Then her friend was eating wif her but she never ate?! She claimed tat she was waiting for me. Haha … so nice. In the end, she ate alone after I arrived. Sry ya … 挨饿这么久 .. haha. After her friend had left, then we went for shopping. Well, I was looking around if there was something to buy. In the end I bought nothing lar. But at the end of the day, I bought something (will elaborate). Haha … shopping wif her was quite an experience actuali. Waiting is also 一门功夫hor! Haha … while she was trying her clothes (anw she was looking for sweater and a set of clothes for her dance lesson), then I waited lor. Haha, I also walked around lar. Oops, when she asked for my opinion about her clothes, I juz gav wateva comment lar (juz to make her decide faster … haha … she is a bit 犹豫sometimes). The orange sweater tat she bought is reali nice. I already agreed wif her when she discovered the sweater. Haha I dun have wat good taste lar [my taste is quite bad actuali .. but I did something tat I think tat my taste is quite gd de … :p]. I juz give my own view onli. Hope I din bore her when she was doing shopping wif me. Lolz …

Then, we went to take neoprints! Haha .. for those who are reading my blog, plz dun laugh k! It was my first time to take neoprints. So I kinda of dunno wat to do when the camera was ready to take pictures! It happened so fast tat u din have time to think and pose! Quite fun indeed. I think I spoiled her mood somehow tat I couldn’t pose anything funny and interesting! The machine is farnie lar! There is a fan there (dun think it is functional .. coz it did not blow when we were there?!!). Haiz .. haha .. then I suggested tat we took again. Then we went to try another machine. Haha .. this time I think I got to try to pose something. Something k! Not big action! Not act cute! Haha … we took a lot of photos. Then we edited them! Haha .. quite fun in editing them! But I was quite slow at tat time. May be I wanna to design them nicely so I had been taking a long time to choose templates and clips… And, I have to blame the pen tat I was using at tat time very 不听话! Anw, got nice pictures taken wif her. Haha, shall treasure them 留个美好的回忆吧. Haha, juz now went to scan them so tat can permanently keep them. Narrow escape from two people! Luckily they din find out …nvm, nobody knows anyway.

<refer to my photo album "Photo related to entries" for photos!>

Then, we went to Sim Lim to buy my external hard disk. Wah, we actuali went around the whole building to look for the cheapest price! Haha, thkx for “pei” me to look for quotations. It is indeed tiring than you shop in shopping complex. We had to approach every PC company and asked them lei! 当做运动吧! Haha …I finali bought one wif the price of $108 (a reasonable price). It is 40GB if u dunno! I can use it for a life time liao. So I m gg to give up the plan to buy a new laptop. Dun think it is necessary to buy a new one. Then when I was gg to shop for MP3 player, she offered me her Ipod which was given by her dad. She actuali wanna to give it to me for free. But I dun wan lar. That thing is ex! Nobody will actuali give something so ex as gift rite?!(except one case lar). Coz in my opinion, if I use my own money to buy, I will treasure it more and will take extra good care of it. But think back, if someone who is special gives something to me, I will treasure it more :p Anw, we have not decided on the price yet.

Then we had our dinner at Foodmore. Nothing to say about the dinner except an extraordinary 现象 which I dun wan to mention. Then we went to watch The Banquet in her house! Feel sad tat this movie can no longer be watched in the cinema! Haiz we already planned to watch tat de. But somehow we cancelled. This happened last week lar. But nvm still get to watch the same movie wif same person. Haha .. the differences are tat the screen is a bit smaller; no popcorn; no other audience; no atmosphere …. Haha .. still it was quite enjoyable! Nice show!

Be4 we watched tat show, I taught her how to produce her so-called “video” for her powerpoint. Then I offered my help to produce a background for PW ppt. Hope it is nice lar. If not, I failed to be a designer liao. Oh, I have one more target for my life: enter business world; medical industry; or design industry! Yeah, designing rox! I mean fun. Haha … not boosting anything. I find tat there are loz of stuff for me to learn for the time being. But this year I m exposed to loz of things like designing tshirt, badges, programme booklets, producing flash (the pet thingy .. limited version! Onli to one person in the whole world!:p); producing virtual photo album … blabla …. Wah … reali reali fun to get in touch wif them! I will try to produce a flash movie about my script (the first serious script I have ever written [it is for Huang Cheng]). My script was actuali used by my teacher as 参考 … haha .. 不好听 guinea pig lor. :p but nvm I enjoy writing. I have actuali spent several weeks to pen my thought and my little world. For those who read it be4, it is not difficult to find out my personality, my ideal world, my feeling, my 心声. Anw, writing script is like writing ur 心声。duh! Lolz. Haha, the second one is like dedicating to someone.

<refer to my photo album "Photo related to entries" for photos!>

When I went back to hostel, it was actuali very late ler. Haha, din wan to 麻烦 her mom to send me home lar. It was not good to wake her up. She claimed tat she was sleepy and tired then I better went home by myself :p haha … 习惯一个人深夜搭车了…no big deal >_<

Yup, a memorable day indeed. Enjoyed myself very much! Thkx for spending the weekend wif me! J

Weird … have been posting long entries ….;P

Haha .. juz now i gave hamham and hamlet a bathe! Wah .. challenging job. It was like giving bathe to babies. Lolz … quite difficult to bath them. But it turned out alrite in the end lar. They were quite cooperative. I mean both k?! Initially i thot hamham would not be cooperative. Still it let me to touch it (it would escape from my palm whenever i hold it k?). I carefully dampened their fur, then i used soap on them, after tat i need to wash their body (lolz coz they have short legs and "hands") then i dried them using towel. I covered them for a long period of time to ensure that they were completely dried. If they catch cold, i m in trouble. I realized tat they are used to bathing at all! they kept scratching for no reason?! it is very itchy after bathing? lolz … i think they were trying to dry themselves and "comb" their fur. :p U know wat. After bathing, they looked farnie. Haha … yet cute without their fur! Anw, i will try to wash the cages and give them another bath be4 i return to jt again. Yup having fun wif hamham and hamlet. But still like hamlet than hamham. Hamham is so scared of me. Jt said tat hamham liked her very much. lolz .. different magnet poles attract each other mah. Lolz ..

Dunno y. I was accident prone for the past few days. I kept biting my lips and cut my finger accidentally. Ouch .. Haiz … 不好的预感？dunno. Nvm. May be 热气过多吧？！

Well got e chance to have a look at the overall result. Haiz .. speechless. Well … dun care. I think i m goin to igore the current the result. I got promoted so i m goin to treasure this opportunity. Yup, dun care about the past liao. Let it bygone bah.

Haha … having great fun wif ham ham. It is very enjoyable juz by staring at it for 30 minutes. It is so sporty! It is so active tat it kept running on the wheel for 10 minutes! gosh .. wouldnt it be tired? wondering … ^_^

Haha .. dunno wat happened to me today. Today i got back 3 papers which were claimed by me tat i completed them with smooth flow of thought. The result should be quite good wat. Haiz .. nvm dun wan to talk about it. I am reali weird today. I felt nothing when i got back my papers! gosh .. wat happened to me ar? i thot i m an emoitional person??!! i guess i hav a control over myself ler. Hah … i think i dun care about my current result now. I have alreadi started my revision. Revision of all topics .. it is a biao "siao" coz i have juz finished my exam. My frienz will laugh at me for not enjoying myself instead torturing myself. Nvm, i start earli then i have enuf time to finish my revision. My mindset is altered a bit after i have read the book "I am gifted so are you". Well tat s quite true tat beliefs determine your attitude then ur action. My beliefs all this while are wrong! I have been feeling so inferior coz i alwaz say to myself tat i cant do as well as others … cant improve much .. blabla .. all the negative thoughts. Well i reali wan to get rid of them. Still trying to. I guess one day i will chase them away from me. Yup! i will reveal my 4 big goals here. I am goin to announce to the whole world of my 4 big goals. (wondering who will read … not whole world >_<). K, i am goin to be top in the cohort next year in all the subjects i take (chem, bio, maths). Well i believe tat it is possible. Nxt, i am goin to excel in A lvl exam wif all distinctions. The third goal is tat i m goin to study medicine / business in national university here. The fourth goal is tat i m goin to do well in university. Yup, overambition hur?! Haha .. i m goin to prove tat i can realize them. Not matter wat goal i set for myself, i will be goin to achieve them with any means. ^_^

Juz came back from a preview of a camp which is called “I am gifted, so are you!”. My mum asked me to have a look at how they conduct the camp. I think I need to recharge myself after all the failures tat I have been facing this year. Too many failures indeed but of coz there are a few events tat I m proud of lar. Well, there are not many people know about my past history actuali except my parents and my family. I dun think my friends know this coz I dun wan to mention actuali. If I mention, I will be juz boosting about myself. Well, I have learned all the good stuff in the world. Thanks to my parents who are willing to invest on me. I feel very grateful to them. I am reali glad that I have good parents who reali do their job as parents. Luv them so much. Be4 I came to spore to study, they groomed me a lot. Usually they don’t want me and my brothers to touch any household duties like cooking, washing … they want us to concentrate on our studies. They do all the household duties instead by themselves. Even though I wan to offer my help sometimes, they usually ask me to go and study. As a result, (last time) I had loz of time to study. But still, I helped them in wateva I could lar. I would help them to wash plates after dinner sometimes :p Well the good stuff tat I have learned in the world are my courses and camps tat I attended be4. Well thkx to the courses and camps from which I learned a lot, I was able to achieve good result till last year. The courses are EQ management, study techniques, Smart Memory Learning Programme and so on. I usually join at least one camp a year. Because I think that I reali have to recharge myself after a whole- year tiring study journey. Usually I end up in defeated and devastating condition. I m usually worn up and get hurt by my unsatisfactory result. Therefore, I have to join a camp especially motivational camp every year. My mum knows me very well. Therefore, she usually keeps a lookout any camp for me. These courses and camps are not cheap but value for money. I reali have to thank my parents again coz they are willing to spend these on me. They are unlike any other parents. They reali care about their children and are willing to invest anything on us juz to c us to achieve something big in the future. Well, this time they allow me to go a camp tat my parents and I think that I should go. The camp, which is mentioned above, costs around 4 figures. Gosh … tat s damn expensive. After attending the preview, I think this is an extraordinary camp. Well, I have been attending special camps. They all have their niche of coz. For this particular camp, it duels wif the Singapore education system. The techniques tat they are goin to teach are totally related to the syllabus here. Well, I asked this question during the seminar. “I don’t find the techniques I have learnt be4 (the lecturer introduced them during the seminar) useful and applicable to the education here. I am reali wandering. They worked well in Msia. But now they become useless to be applied on application questions. What would u say?” He answered me tat I have been using the techniques wrongly and have not discovered how powerful are the techniques. Haiz .. I guess so ba. Juz accept this fact bah. May be I reali dunno how to use the techniques properly. Well after the programme tat I will be joining on 14^th Nov to 17^th Nov, I am given many benefits of attending the same programme for free every year (for revision of coz) and I am under supervision of the coaches throughout the year. I was given the book “I am gifted so are you” for free! Hmm .. not bad. At least I m taken care of after the programme for long term but not juz for short term. Yup I m not goin to waste my parents’ money. I will learn everything from the programme and try to teach my brothers. I will try to join the camp with open mind. Dun wan to care wat I have learnt be4. Looking forward to it! ^_^ Haha .. this can be short introductory of the programme. Do some advertisements for my future coach. :p

The programme lasts for 4 days. The camp starts early but ends late everyday. They cover a range area from make own beliefs > setting goals > time management > strategies. Yup, 受尽创伤的我将死去，老皮将脱掉，迎来全新的我，继续奋斗，继续迎接迎面而来的挑战。

Wow .. feel quite relieved a bit. 2 days ago, a teacher told me tat i will get promoted! yeah! Then i can continue studying in HC and i m goin to serve Huang Cheng as well! However i think this is not the time to feel happy yet. I still got more work to do after reviewing my result. I need to hav a balance in my school work and my activities. If not, i will not be gg to do well in my A lvl. Thus, i will do my reflection over the holidays finding out what s wrong wif me. ok shall forget about academic stuff first.

Hmm .. yesterday i went to jt’s house after bian ju ke. We played badminton since she requested me to play wif her. Then i agreed lor since i wanted to play also. Couldnt hold racket properly. "bao dao lao le" … lox. I think jt needs to practice more. Last time i taught her many stuff but she din really show all her power. Hmm .. play next time? play more frequently? lox .. i think she has somehow forgotten since she has not been practising and focusing on her exam. But not bad lar. She can beat me in some matches.

Then her mom suddenli suggested to give me jt’s hamster "ham ham". Jt was quite reluctant to give me actuali coz she luv her ham ham so much. But in the end she agreed to give me. Haha .. thkx for ur trust! I wont let u down. I will take care of ham ham like the way u luv it ya! ^_^ Since tat incident, i wont dare to let me guard down on any pets liao. I felt guilty actuali and quite reluctant to accept anymore pets fearing tat they will somehow get hurt or disappear. Haiz .. but still u trust me and i m gg to take good care of it. Ham ham is very cute and active. I think i will have to play wif ham ham more frequent so tat we can be closer to each other. ^_^

Ok got back my econ paper today. It is not a satisfied result but I managed to get a ‘pass ‘ for this paper. Not bad lar for my standard. For the whole cohort, 4 people got As onli which is very pathetic. But never mind, I usually dun care about others’ result. I was quite annoyed when my friends discussed results in front of me. Some even said tat one of the 4 did not even study for the exam and still aced in the econ paper in the end. I din feel anything at all. I felt even more inferior but nvm I dun feel tat much lar actuali coz I dun compare my result wif other people mah. I m glad tat I m not a person that compares myself wif others. As long as I hold my belief tat “hardworker can beat genius” and I can succeed in the end even though I spend more time or effort, it doesn’t matter. Well those who dun study for it still can get good result are incredible (I recognize their IQ and ability). Haiya, dun care about them lar. I am ME. Haha …

Today I keep grumbling and a bit “fan” about my this-year promotion. Yesterday I msg my tutor to ask about the result which I m quite reluctant to hear about it actuali. He never replied me. I m wondering if my result is so horrible tat he doesn’t wan to tell me or there is hidden reason for him not to tell me. The criteria to get promoted is to get two “passes” in H2 papers and a ‘pass’ in GP. Now, I get 1 pass for one of the H2 subjects and 1 pass for my Chinese H1 subject (which does not help to promote me anw). I still dunno about the result of my bio, maths papers. I reali dunno. … I reali wan to know and have the eagerness to know. But I dun wan to ask. Haiz .. dunno wat happen to me. >_< Two of my friends reassured me tat I would get promoted. Haha … who they are? How can they predict tat I will get promoted. I know myself very well therefore I can conclude. But they are not fortune tellers nor me, how can they bet tat I will get promoted?! Anw, if I dun get promoted, 2 possibilities tat will happen on me: continue to study in

singapore

without my scholarship ; go back to Msia and find a college and study.

Most probably I will go back to Msia coz being retained is a shameful thing to me. I may or may not take it. If I get promoted, I promise tat I will study damn hard for my A level and for any exam. Go all out for it. Use any methods to get myself master all the subjects. I vow for it. Now wat I can do is juz waiting and praying.

Tmr is open house. It is gonna to be very fun, I guess.